Anyone who has done translation before will know that when a message is translated word for word, it sometimes loses its original meaning. Built into the meaning of any word in any language is a set of connotations and implications that is specific to that language and culture. Even within a language, the same word used in different contexts can have very different meanings.

Just as the meaning of a word varies with its context, the meaning of a phrase or sentence may also vary with the situation. For example, if a mother asks her six-year old daughter: “Have you had lunch yet?” she is probably trying to find out if her daughter needs nourishment. A young man asking a young lady the same question, at least in the Western culture, is offering an invitation for a date. In the Chinese culture, that question is simply a common greeting around noon time.

Thus, words are not the only component of a message. Other components include body language, expressions, tone and volume, pauses and silence, etc. All of these must be interpreted in context. In this respect, the Chinese and North American cultures are very similar. What is different between the two cultures is the relative weight of the spoken words when compared to other components of a message, and the extent to which the meaning of a message is influenced by its situation. One study shows that as much as 55% of the meaning of a message is expressed through the body language of an American communicator. Although no formal comparable studies have been done for communicators of other cultures, common experience tells us that this percentage will differ greatly. For example, Chinese and Japanese tend to place more emphasis on what is unspoken than Americans. Much of the difference may have to do with the fact that Chinese and Japanese are living in a collectivistic culture, as opposed to Americans in an individualistic culture.

In an individualistic culture where people are free to speak their minds, communication can be precise and direct without having to worry too much about consequences. Unless a person intends to deceive, he will as a rule say what he means and mean what he says. Where the situation calls for greater sensitivity, euphemism and diplomatic expressions may be used, but the wording of a message still reflects its meaning. Only occasionally will people use unspoken or ambivalent messages.

In a collectivist culture, people spend a lot of energy maintaining group harmony by upkeeping each other’s face. A careless word may be interpreted as an insult in the wrong ears, which may lead to undesirabe consequences. Only a few generations ago, such mistakes could even be fatal. Even where consequences are not as drastic, a person stands to lose a lot of face if he has to take back his words. People need to be very careful of what they communicate. This attitude can be summarized in the Chinese sayings: “Think three times before you speak” and “A gentleman will value his promise as if it is worth a thousand pieces of gold.”

Communication in a collectivist culture is not only characterized by careful selection of words but by the frequent use of probes, hints and ambivalent or even unspoken messages. This is especially true when it comes to the making of or responding to requests. This is because a person making a request not only needs to be concerned about what he says, but also with the face of his listener. In the Chinese culture, saying no to someone’s request is equivalent to not giving him enough face to grant him a yes. Since no one wants to slight anyone unnecessarily, those who put others into a position to say no are regarded as inconsiderate. This does not mean the Chinese people don’t say no to each other. Yet there are 101 ways to say no without offending others, many of which do not even contain the word “no.”

Yet if the people from the two types of culture communicate so fundamentally differently, how can an American understand a Chinese communicator? The answer may lie in a Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) technique called “mirroring”. Mirroring is simply to “copy” another person’s body movements, including his/her gestures and breathing patterns. Mirroring not only makes it easier to develop rapport with your conversation partner, it also puts you into his/her emotional state. In a way it allows you to “feel” how the other person feels. When combined with the context of what the person is telling you and how things are told (the tone, pauses, emphasis), the meaning of the message will be crystal clear. So three cheers to NLP! It is not only a wonderful technology for enhancing human performance, it also helps to bridge a communication gap between cultures.