“Something is missing and you’ve got to look back on your life”

As I listened to the words of the song “What About Love?” I began to ask myself what the most important ingredient in an NLP Practitioners life would be. Would it be the skills I possessed, the theoretical knowledge, the tools I have or the particular ‘school’ I studied NLP from?

Why is it that some NLP Practitioners succeed and others don’t? Why are some NLP Practitioner names emblazoned across the night sky while so many of us live in obscurity, average, mediocre lives that lead us nowhere?

Is it just one ingredient that needs to be changed or many? If I could narrow it down to the most crucial factor then what one trait could an NLP practitioner work on to hit a home run?

I realized that we really need to begin working on ourselves first, because to create change on the outside, we need to begin right where it all begins... within our own consciousness.

We need to work on the contents of our inner self first!

We live in a participatory universe. The observer affects the observed and every particle exerts a force on every other in the universe. The gravitational field of the Earth extends and affects, however infinitesimally, everything between our solar system and the edges of the universe.

You are being affected even now by the gravitational field of galaxies that ceased to exist 10 billion years ago.

How short sighted it would be to assume that problems experienced only 10 years ago by clients, seemingly separated from us by space and time, do not affect our understanding of and ability to solve the problem.

When the client presents us with an issue, is it possible that we first need to look within?

Cardiff University researchers, who are part of a British-German team searching the depths of space to study gravitational waves, may have stumbled on one of the most important discoveries in physics.

Craig Hogan, physicist at Fermilab Centre for Particle Astrophysics in Illinois may have found the first scientific proof in the data of the gravitational wave detector GEO600 of a holographic Universe.

The Vedas, the most ancient books we know of, teach us that “What is inside is also outside and what is outside is also inside, he that believes that there is a difference between inside and outside goes from sorrow to sorrow and death to death evermore”!

When teaching a particularly ‘powerful self empowerment’ course many years ago...I noticed how clients would walk in and teach me the most amazing lessons I needed to learn. Some of their problems were a reflection of mine! It hit me right between the eyes that in a curious way, their lessons were also mine. I had a moment of ‘awakening’. I realized that we live in a participatory universe and that we are in more ways than one a reflection of one another! By looking within in and asking “What about ME?” I could then attack the problem on the inside as well as on the outside simultaneously.

I had this client who was in her mid-forties. She had been married for many years and she desperately wanted to conceive.

My initial reaction was “Let’s do this... Let’s work on these exercises... Let’s spend the next few hours doing this particular practice. Three months went by and I had not heard from her. I grew increasingly impatient. One day I sat there perplexed and realized that deep down inside of me I was harbouring a hidden belief that was utterly transparent to me. I then pulled up a chair, sat down and began to work on my own transparent belief until I had dissolved it.

A few weeks later I was awakened in the middle of the night to the ringing of my phone. I asked myself “Who could this be calling me at 3.13 am in the morning? This better be good”...there was a click on the phone and then a pause before I heard the jubilant voice of my client saying “Russ you gotta believe this! I am pregnant and the doctors have just confirmed it after several tests!”

A wave of joy swept over me! “Where are you calling from I asked breathlessly”? I am in the US she said. “I will be here for the rest of my pregnancy. When I am done, my husband and I will fly down to meet you in person to thank you”.

We both laughed and cried tears of gratitude. I was so ecstatic that I couldn’t contain the emotions bubbling up inside of me. I looked up to the Universe and gratefully acknowledged my heartfelt thanks....and then I said to myself “Russ it all begins with you. It’s not out there it’s in here”.

According to Hew Len,* “if one would take complete responsibility for one's life, then everything one would see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is one's responsibility because it is in one's life. Total Responsibility advocates that everything exists as a projection from inside the human being. The problem isn't with our external reality, it is with ourselves and to change our reality, we would have to change ourselves”.

So to wrap it up my friends. It’s not just about the techniques you learn. It’s not about how clever or skilful you are in deploying them. It’s not about how long a beard you have grown or what color your robes are. It’s not about doing the ‘NEW TECH’ OR ‘THE OLD CLASSIC TECH’. It has nothing to do with the weather, the venue or the type of condition you are working on with your client. It’s about working on what’s going on inside of you, the therapist that really counts.

Are you congruent in your beliefs and values? Do you really believe you can heal the person you are working on? Are there areas you need to work on inside of you that only you know about? Are you willing to allow for change to occur in your life?

The littlest things (even if they are only as small as a mustard seed) can end up making a mountain of difference in your life!

It’s all about you and the contents of your own consciousness!

May you create lasting change!